


you can't always be okay (and that's okay, too)

by snarkymuch



Series: Broken Wings [5]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Alternate Universe - Wings, Dealing With Trauma, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Wingfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-18
Updated: 2020-02-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:21:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22793155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snarkymuch/pseuds/snarkymuch
Summary: *Could you read this and have it make sense without reading the others? Possibly. But reading the first in the series would be a good crash course on this universe*Peter and Tony have plans to hang out, but things don't go according to plan. Tony is struggling with his wings, and Pepper greets Peter at the tower instead. There's some Peter and Pepper bonding followed by a difficult moment between Tony and Peter, where Peter sees Tony's wings for the first time.
Relationships: Peter Parker & Pepper Potts, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Series: Broken Wings [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1588876
Comments: 26
Kudos: 446





	you can't always be okay (and that's okay, too)

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, you guys. Have I mentioned I love you all so much!!! The prompts have been amazing and I now have so many things to write for this universe. This is for those that requested some Peter seeing Tony's wings. I hope you like it and I'll be working on some more soon. Feel free to keep sending things if you think of more.

Breadcrumbs fell from Peter’s mouth and onto the front of his suit, landing on the spider emblem on his chest. He brushed them away with his free hand as he balled up the wrapper and stuffed it into the bag. Downing the last of his drink, he burped, excusing himself, though no one could hear from his perch on the billboard.

Hunger satisfied, he gathered his things and swung down to the street to find a trashcan. A few bystanders waved at him, and he stopped to take a selfie with a few kids, throwing up a peace sign. Karen reported everything quiet, so he called it a day and started toward where he’d stashed his backpack.

He and Tony had been planning a Star Wars marathon at the tower for weeks, and Peter was really excited to go. May was at a nursing convention for the weekend, so they had days to binge on pizza and argue nerd facts.

After gathering his bag, he went back home and grabbed what he’d need for the next few days. Once he was packed, he snatched his keys from the table, grabbed a granola bar, and headed off toward the tower. He could have had Happy pick him up, but he hated making the man go out of his way when it wasn’t so bad to swing there or take a train.

When he got to the tower, Peter jogged inside, waving at the security guy before slipping into the private elevator. Friday’s cheerful voice greeted him and directed him to the penthouse. He bounced on the balls of his feet, toying with the strap of his bag as he watched the numbers change. It seemed to be taking forever to reach the top.

As he rode, he thought of Tony and how busy he’d been lately. They hadn’t had much time to hang out, something about a competitor pushing out another phone next month. Peter had noticed the last few times they had been around each other that Tony seemed more agitated than usual. Maybe that wasn’t the right word, but Peter noticed the deeper lines etched in his face and the dark smears under his eyes, the way his answers were shorter and more direct. It was clear the stress was getting to him. Peter wished there was something he could do for him since Tony helped him so much.

The elevator slowed to a stop. Peter chewed his lip, tipping his head back and forth impatiently as he waited for the doors to open.

He wasn’t just looking forward to having time to geek out about his favorite movies. He’d also been waiting for a chance to relax with his wings out. It would be nice to let them stretch. He didn’t need to hide around Tony. It wasn’t that he couldn’t have them out at home, but Peter hadn’t felt comfortable doing it since Ben died. 

The doors slid open, and Peter bounded into the penthouse, looking around for Tony. He was surprised to come face to face with Pepper instead. She wasn’t in her usual power suit or a pencil skirt and blouse. Her clothes were more casual, and her hair was in a loose bun. When she looked at Peter, he saw how tired she looked, and not just that, her mascara looked smudged like maybe she’d been crying.

Peter and Pepper didn’t know each other well, but after she’d seen his wings, she took him under her own, mothering him just as much as May did. Apparently, she came from a line of less than savory wings, so she understood what being an outcast was like. Though her family didn’t have ravens, there were vultures, and those wings tended to curl people’s lips in disgust.

She ran a hand over her head, brushing a few stray strands back and letting out a heavy sigh. Dropping her arm, she frowned and blinked a few times at Peter.

“Peter, I’m so sorry. I should have called.”

The excitement he had been feeling became replaced with concern. “What’s wrong? Is Mr. Stark okay?”

Pressing her lips together, she shook her head. “He’s okay, but I don’t think you’re going to be able to keep your plans with him. I’m sorry.”

“Oh, okay. I can—I can go.” Peter motioned to the exit, shrugging. “It’s fine.”

It wasn’t fine, though. Peter was majorly disappointed and scared, too, that something was wrong with Tony, but it didn’t seem like Pepper wanted to tell him what was going on. He wondered what he’d done to make Tony not want to be around him. His shoulders sank, and he tried to force a smile.

“Tell him I’ll see him next Friday, then. If that’s okay.” His voice wavered slightly, but he covered it with a cough.

Pepper seemed to see right through him.

“Peter, wait. Don’t go. Your aunt’s not home, is she? I really can’t let you spend the weekend by yourself. You’re more than welcome to stay here for the weekend. I just don’t think you’ll see much of Tony, I’m afraid.”

Peter tightened his grip on his bag. “I know it’s not really my business, but he’s not mad at me, is he? I know I stayed out past curfew last night, and I think I’ve been distracting him in the lab. If he were mad, he’d tell me, right?”

“Oh, Peter, he’s not mad. It’s nothing like that.” She glanced at the couch and back to Peter, then waved him toward it. “Come on, come sit with me for a minute. I can’t tell you everything, but I think you need to know some of it.”

Peter followed her to the couches and dropped his bag on the cushion, taking a seat across from her.

She pressed her hands between his knees and took a breath. “Has Tony told you anything about his wings?”

Peter nodded. He remembered the conversation with his mentor about what had happened to them. He’d tried to imagine what they might look like, what it might feel like to be without them, but it always sent a shiver straight through him.

“You know, Tony and I talk, and anything he tells me, I keep in the strictest confidence.”

Peter’s face scrunched a little. “Okay.”

Pepper wet her lips. “He told me how you had touch starvation from not letting anyone preen your wings, so you know how bad that can feel.”

“Yeah, pretty bad.”

“Right,” Pepper said, “and Tony barely lets me touch his. I do my best, but sometimes it gets the best of him. He has good days and bad, but today hasn’t been a good one.”

Peter frowned. “Oh, is there anything I can do?”

A weak smile touched Pepper’s lips, but there was warmth in her eyes. “No, sweetie. He just needs to work through things. In the meantime, why don’t you keep me company tonight? We can watch one of those movies you love so much.”

“If you’re sure …”

“Absolutely, and please, don’t hide your wings. You know I don’t mind.”

Pepper’s warm smile eased the uncertainty Peter felt. Something about her was disarming. He felt safe with her.

“Thanks, I’m just gonna go drop my stuff off in my room,” Peter said, standing and grabbing his bag.

“Great, I’ll get some snacks ready.”

Peter went to his room and changed, a little hesitant to show his wings, but after a moment, he let them fall into the open, and he stretched them out on his back. It felt amazing after a long day of having them pent up. He couldn’t enjoy the feeling fully, though, knowing that Tony was somewhere in the tower fighting his own demons. It made him feel guilty for enjoying himself, and he wondered if it would be better if he left. He didn’t want to intrude and come between Pepper and Tony when his mentor clearly needed support.

His socked feet were quiet as he padded into the living area. Pepper greeted him with a smile, and Peter noticed her face makeup was no longer smudged. She looked a little brighter and less sad, which settled something in Peter. He quickly offered to help her carry some of the drinks she had balanced in her hands along with a large bowl of popcorn.

“Thanks, I think I overestimated my abilities a little,” she said, setting the bowl down on the coffee table and taking a seat. Peter put the drinks beside it and took a seat on the couch, turning a little to the side like Pepper to make room for his wings. His gaze fell on Pepper’s wings for a moment, the edge of the dusky blue feathers showing behind her. They were stunning and complimented her well.

Pepper’s voice pulled him from his musings. “So, what are we watching first?”

Peter smiled. “Umm, have you seen any of them?”

She scrunched her nose. “Maybe? Lightsabers, right?”

Peter laughed, shaking his head. “Okay, we’ll start at the beginning.”

* * *

Pepper and Peter wrapped up their movie night around midnight, and though Peter had fun, his thoughts stayed with Tony. He wondered the whole time if his mentor might appear, but he never did. After cleaning the table, Peter went to his room and tried to sleep but found he couldn’t.

It didn’t feel the same without Tony around. Don’t get him wrong, Pepper was great, but he and Tony shared this crazy bond made of nerd facts, bad jokes, and friendship. Peter was starting to open up around him, being more himself than he had in a long time. The last time he’d felt this kind of connection with someone, it was with his Uncle Ben. Opening himself up to someone again scared him a little, but it was worth it. He’d forgotten what it was like to have someone to look up to again.

Peter was lying in bed, trying to sleep when he heard a familiar voice cursing from somewhere near the kitchen. He debated on investigating for a moment, but his curiosity and concern for Tony won out, and he slipped from the bed and tiptoed toward the sound.

What he saw when he got close made him freeze. Silhouetted against the lights that ran along the counter was Tony, his wings, or what was left of them, out on display. The man stood hunched over as if in pain. His hair was a mess, and his normally well-kept goatee had blurred around the edges, a shadow of a beard growing in. The man hung his head, and he was hissing through his teeth, hands clenched in fists on the counter. A cup of coffee was on its side beside the machine, and the brown liquid puddled around it.

Peter didn’t know what to do, so he stayed frozen. He felt like he was intruding. He didn’t just feel it; he knew he was. Tony never showed his wings willingly, and seeing them now, Peter could understand why he kept them hidden.

Scar tissue covered most of the skin that was once feathers.  
The right was cut at the elbow. From there to the tip gone, the feathers sprouting in odd angles amongst the scars. His other wing, if that’s what you could call it, was nothing but short stump that downy feathers tried to grow from, though they looked wrong, matted. Peter couldn’t even begin to imagine how they must feel.

Something must have given him away as suddenly Tony’s posture changed, and he lifted his head, looking straight at Peter.

Peter’s heart jumped, and he stepped back, regretting ever coming in the kitchen in the first place. He tried to read Tony’s expression, but the lighting made it hard, though if he were to guess, he’d say Tony was just as unsure as he was.

“Hey, Mr. Stark,” Peter started, swallowing down the lump in his throat. “I didn’t mean to—I mean, I heard something—someone—and I thought. You know what? I should go.”

Peter’s heart was hammering in his chest, and he struggled under the weight of Tony’s gaze. The man’s right wing—the bigger one—twitched. Tony’s face was still hard lines and impossible to read. Peter felt sweat dampening his neck as he tried not to do the wrong thing. He didn’t want to make things worse.

After a moment, Tony broke his gaze and turned around, snatching a paper towel and wiping up the spilled coffee. Peter expected him to hide his wings, but they were still on display, and he didn’t know what that meant. He wasn’t sure if Tony just didn’t have good control at that moment, or if he really was okay with Peter seeing them. He hoped for the latter but thought the former to be more likely.

Tony’s voice, sounding rough from disuse, broke the silence. “Sorry if I scared you.”

“You didn’t—I mean, I knew someone was up.”

“That wasn’t what I meant,” Tony said, looking over his shoulder at Peter as he opened the cabinet and retrieved two mugs.

Peter licked his lips, rubbing at the back of his neck. “Yeah.”

“I don’t normally have them out, but they’ve been hurting more than usual lately. It’s why I’ve been keeping to myself a bit more,” Tony explained as he finished pouring hot water into his cup and stirring in a packet of hot chocolate mix in each. “Not the good stuff, I know, but it’s three in the morning, and I’m not about to make this from scratch.” He nodded to the stools lining the center island. “Grab a chair, kid.”

Trying not to stare, Peter made his way to the counter and took a seat. Tony slid a mug of hot chocolate in front of him. The warmth of the ceramic felt good under his hands as he wrapped his fingers around it—little dehydrated bits of sugar masquerading as marshmallows slowly dissolved on the surface of the hot liquid. Peter took a tentative sip to calm his nerves. The heat stung his lip and tongue, and he grimaced as he set it back on the counter.

“Careful, it’s hot,” Tony said, leaning against the counter opposite him, mug cupped between his hands. Up close, the dark circles under his eyes were deeper and more pronounced. The edge of his left wing was just visible beyond his shoulder. Seeing the damage firsthand made something inside Peter twist. It felt like he had a hundred rocks sitting inside his stomach, making him heavy and ache.

“I’m really sorry—I should’ve stayed in my room. I knew you were out here, and I didn’t think.” Peter looked down at the surviving marshmallow as it dissolved, shrinking away into nothing and wishing very much that he could do the same. “I wasn’t trying to—I mean, I’d never intentionally invade your privacy like that.”

Tony waved his concern off, taking a sip of his own hot chocolate. He looked thoughtful for a moment before licking his lips and lifting his eyes to meet Peter’s.

“I’d be lying if I said it didn’t bother me, but I know you wouldn’t judge, though I wish I could have spared you seeing something so ugly. They’re a pretty nasty reminder that the world is full of some real evil shit.”

Peter didn’t know what to say, so he stared into his cup, chewing his lip lightly as he thought. It took him a moment, but the words finally came.

“You told me before that it was okay not to be okay.” His thumb scratched at the ‘S’ of the Stark logo on the mug. He looked up at Tony, licking his lip and tasting the lingering sweetness from the cocoa. “That should apply to you, too, you know.”

Tony regarded him for a moment, the lines on his forehead seeming to deepen. His gaze flicked away, and he downed the last of his drink. Finished, Tony looked down at the cup in his hands, his head nodding just slightly. “I did say that, didn’t I?”

Taking his mug to the sink, Tony rinsed it out and then turned to walk toward Peter. He paused, resting a hand on Peter’s shoulder, squeezing lightly as he looked away.

“Don’t stay up too late,” Tony said, patting his shoulder. “We’ve got a full day of movies to watch tomorrow.”

Without another word, Tony dropped his hand and silently left the room. Peter didn’t finish his cocoa. He wasn’t thirsty anymore. In all reality, he wasn’t sure how he felt. The twisted feeling wasn’t any better inside him, but he had hope that maybe Tony would be okay, and that was all he could ask for.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you liked!!!  
> You can also find me on [tumblr](https://snarky-drabbles.tumblr.com/) where I talk to myself and reblog marvel stuff.


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